Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Promotion Box!

Eric got promoted while he's over there, so I sent him a quick box of congratulatory goodies, including the cards the two grade-school aged girls I nanny made for him. Oh yes. The Justin Bieber card. It's amazing what kids do with a pack of blank cards and some crayons. I also stuck notes in all the envelopes saying if you text me <insert a word> check your e-mail! And the mystery words, when he finally texted me, prompted me to send links to articles, new songs, and some new pictures. It was my attempt at making a more interactive box, I suppose. But yes! 

Working on a new box currently, so that should be up in a week or two!

Happy Halfway!

Right around the halfway point now, and definitely in my own routine and feeling pretty okay about everything lately. I get to text him most of the day so that helps quite a bit. He also sent me a surprise box a few days ago stuffed with gifts, which totally made my month and gave me that boost to keep plowing forward :) I miss him terribly, of course, but I'm functioning pretty well on my own, too. I think you pretty much have to just get it together for yourself and keep living your life when you get stuck in a situation like this.

AND! Only one more month of summer, which was mentally the longest stretch for me, because come fall I have to start prepping to move back to Washington! And there is plenty to do for that to keep me busy those last weeks before he gets back. I'm very, very excited for the future!

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I suppose the point of having a relationship is to have a partner, someone who's on your team. What happens when your team member can't be there and life is throwing things at you left and right? E is thousands of miles away and has limited communication with me. Meanwhile, since he's been gone, I wrote a thesis, graduated college, moved back home, sold and moved out of our family home with my dad and brother, and am now living with my dad's girlfriend until our new house becomes available August 1st. I am also planning on getting a new car to replace my current unreliable one, and getting things in order to move back to Washington in October, all while crafting a resume and beginning the job hunt. 

The period of time right after graduating college is notoriously unstable, and I'm navigating this without the familiar comfort and support of my partner, which is kind of bizarre. I'm making major life choices and going through huge life changes basically without him. On one hand it makes me a bit sad, knowing I'm going it alone and he's missing this period of time, on the other it's an affirmation of my independence and abilities as a person to not need anyone else in order to successfully run my life. Most of all I guess it makes me worried. I have changed since he left. He said goodbye to a college student and is coming back to a young professional entering the workforce, with 6 months of intense change behind her. I'm hoping this will ultimately have a positive effect on our relationship, but it will definitely take some getting used to.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Nights are the Hardest

I miss you sleeping cuddled up next to me. I miss cooking together, sleeping in, and going on adventures. I miss the way you smell, miss talking to you, miss kisses. I think about being nearly halfway done with this deployment and want to cry from the crazy anticipation of it being over. There’s this little light at the end of the tunnel now, but thinking about when it will be a week until you’re home, days before you’re home makes me panic I want it so badly. It’s this odd fear of anticipation, like I can’t let myself get excited, because wanting something this much is too painful. Instead I re-direct my thoughts to the things I still have to look forward to in these next three months, my plans, our plans. It’s more calming to think about that. Much will be accomplished before I finally get to meet you in the airport. Even typing that out makes my heart leap so painfully. I can’t wait, and I can’t stand waiting.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Little Things

There's a few things that have been making my life a little easier during this deployment the past week:

I don't consider myself  overly sentimental, but I got this keychain right after he left and it's become inordinately important to me. First, let me say that I drive a LOT, to work, to meet friends, to run errands, and every time I pull out my keys, I see this dangling and it reminds me of him. It's a physical thing I can touch and look at to remind me about why I'm doing this. Having something to touch, feel, see when he's gone for provides that daily physical reminder of us. It's become this weird comfort object, like a safety blanket. Any one else have one of these?

Two little girls I nanny, ages 7 and 11, who love exploring with me. 

One of these girls (the 7 year old) drew a picture for me to send to Eric. And yes, those are ears. Love her. 

Seeing plays at a local college with my best friend :) We have plans to see Les Mis in San Francisco this month or next and I am beyond excited.

Sent another care package today, too!