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When Eric told me he'd be deploying back in early December, I couldn't tell anyone about it for days without bursting into tears. It's nearing the end of February now, my birthday is in less than a week, and we have just about 2 months before he's scheduled to leave. I can talk about it without crying now, I can even think about it somewhat peacefully, but I'm still not happy about it. Deployments are a scary thing, to send someone you love thousands of miles away to an often hostile place, not knowing how good communication will be, what life will be like for them there, or how you will cope being left behind at home. And to not even have the option of visiting or reprieve. It's utterly out of our control, and thats terrifying.

This is Eric's first deployment, and mine as well. Although this makes things more difficult, we will have to learn about it together; theres no other choice. Although I still am having moments of panic, pangs of pre-emptive nostalgia, and sleepless nights, I found that the way I cope is through making extensive lists. I've spent more hours researching this experience I'm about to face than I have on homework the past few months, and as a result, have gathered a wealth of resources for myself and anyone else who may be going through a first time deployment.

I'm also looking to document my side of this experience. As much as it will be a journey for him, it will be just as much of a growth process for me. I admit, I've never been good at being alone, and the thought of six months without my best friend and love scares me to death. To combat this, I've begun lists of goals and projects to keep myself busy while he's away. I'll be sharing my progress as well as how I'm handling this time here.

I also have a bit of a creative streak, and care packages made by me are going to be chock full of DIY projects, home made and healthy snacks, and lots and lots of inventive packaging. I haven't seen very many blogs out there who document the making of care packages, and there are even fewer resources about care packages that aren't cliche or focused on heavily processed junk food. I'm aiming to create packages that are interesting, highly detailed, and healthy for my airman. He and I share a penchant for cooking, unique things, and for supporting local and organic, and we are hoping to uphold those ideals through this deployment, even modified.

In short, this will be a journaling of my side of deployment as well as a documentation of the care packages I create and a space for sharing various resources I've collected. We'll see how it goes =D


Us. January 2012

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