I'm moving in TWO DAYS

Holy crap.

I have so much to do still, I haven’t even started to pack or anything, mostly because it feels overwhelming. Gah, I feel like I’m going to forget like 20 important things thanks to procrastinating -.- When I moved for school, I knew exactly when I’d be back, so it wasn’t ever daunting: it was a temporary move. But now it’s a permanent move so we can  start our lives for real when he gets home. I’m genuinely excited about it, I really am, and I have missed Washington, but the gravity of making a major life decision is still present. I’m looking forward to the little things I suppose, like going to my favorite local market, a coffee shop I adore, being in the city, rainy days, fall colors, a Halloween party, and sleeping in our bed most of all. I’m excited to see friends and of course to start preparing for his homecoming, which is always on my mind. 

And this deployment. Dear god just let this thing end, I am just done. He should be home in just a couple weeks so it won’t be long now, but I just want to get that text that says he’s on the plane home instead of playing guessing games waiting for the Air Force to give him a set date. In many ways this last bit of deployment is getting easier, theres a sense of optimism and excitement about him coming back soon, which has made everything feel lighter and easier to handle. At the same time, I am just tired of this and want him back. I’m tired of sleeping alone, and waiting, and really am just getting emotionally burnt out on this whole deployment thing. I’ve been trying to just think levelly about it, to tell myself its over when its over and theres nothing I can do to hurry it up. I still can’t think about homecoming for very long without wanting to cry from the anticipation, but now that undercurrent of excitement is making it a little easier to let those thoughts in. 

I’ve begun to seriously think about what I want to wear/how to do my hair/all that stuff. I started to think about why people obsess about looking perfect, when it legitimately hit me that this is a pretty big life event, something we’ll actually remember until we die, and every extra bit of magic contributes to that memory. No wonder I and so many other girls want to go the extra mile, planning outfits weeks in advance, booking various beauty appointments, losing those last couple pounds. I know it’s going to be an amazing moment even if my hair looks like crap and my makeup is wonky and my nails are bitten to stubs, but how much more will I love that memory if I feel great about myself? That memory, and that feeling of confidence that will forever be tied to it, is what makes it worth it.

Well, that and watching him melt when he sees me =D

Getting Crafty: Date Night Invitations

So I saw this awesome idea on Pinterest where this lady gifted her husband 12 manila envelopes, one for each month, each with a pre-planned date night inside including gift certificates, information about the date, etc. 

I really liked the idea for homecoming, but wanted to be able to do more dates than just one a month and didn't feel like I needed quite as many materials that detailed what we'd be doing because Eric will just look everything up on his phone :) I loved the idea of having all the planning done for a day out, or a night out, with the research completed, some money already set toward it, so that it will be easy for us to just pick up and go on a whim. I also wanted it to feel like something special, something to anticipate.

That got me started thinking about what kinds of things Eric likes to do, things he's mentioned he wants to do when he gets back, and about stuff I want to do in my new permanent home, and came up with a dozen different date ideas, some requiring a full day and some travel, some just a morning, some just an evening, so we'd have some variety in how much effort we wanted to expend that particular week. 

The next step was how to present my date ideas, and since I wanted it to be something special we could look forward to, I decided to essentially use my leftover craft supplies to create themed "date invitations" like so:

Using up those extra craft supplies from care packages!

There's something so exciting about getting a formal invitation! On the back, I printed an itinerary for the day (Portland is pretty much his favorite place ever, and about a 2 hour drive for us) and am enclosing a gift card to one of the main things I want us to do there, as well as a card I made that says that coffee is on me that day :) 

I'm still not sure how I'm going to package these invitations with their matching gift cards/cash as Manila envelopes are too big, and I do want to keep track of which ones are time sensitive, which ones require more/less effort, etc. I've made 5 unique invitations so far, so I'll post how I wrap them up when I figure out how I'm going to do it! I'll also be posting each invitation and pictures from the date as we use them, of course. 

I'm off to make a few more!

October 2nd

The day we met. The day we became inseparable.


Happy 2 years babe, and on to year 3 :) Can't wait to celebrate when you're home in a few weeks!

Deployment is Kicking My Ass Today

I don't know why. You'd think with only about a month to go, it would be easier, and I guess for the most part it is, but some days just suck and there's no way around it. I spent most of the day doing research for our new place and picking up a few presents for him/things for the new apartment I've been meaning to get. My credit card hurts, but even retail therapy didn't lift my little deployment cloud.

Luckily September has been moving along pretty quickly, I can only hope October does the same and that if they delay his homecoming, it won't be for very long. He had a tentative date around Halloween, but now with everything going on in that part of the world, we're back to being really unsure of anything. I hate not knowing, it's easily one of the most frustrating aspects of the military lifestyle. I feel better having a solid date, it makes me feel like I can plan, and we all know planning is my favorite coping mechanism. For now, I am just forcing myself to keep on with my life, keep busy, and tell myself that it will be over soon, one way or another. 

On the bright side, I have a super busy week next week with painting my mom's new apartment for her and teaching swim lessons on the weekends, gotta keep adding to that bank account! Also, October is almost here, and the second of the month is our second anniversary :) 

Oh, and I'm getting the iphone 5 because I did this to my 4.

Yep. Eric calls me killer kella for my propensity to break electronics. Ironic, because he is the tech whisperer. Long story short, I dropped it a few months ago and the cracks just keep getting worse. Last night it fell off the counter and huge chunks of glass just came off...thank god my contract is up.

Tomorrow marks 23 weeks of deployment behind us. Only a few more to go, love.

September

Why hello there, fall! 

I have been waiting for summer to end for so long, and the coming of this new season means we are closing in on a return date for my love. I am in a weird spot, where homecoming is still a bit too far to be truly excited about, but I'm exiting the middle stage of this thing. Part of me wants to cling to the familiar comfort of my middle-stage mindset, where I have all the time in the world to prepare for homecoming, can put things off like registering to vote in a new state or setting up another bank account, can reassure myself that I have more time to save money, to be with my family, to go do things in the Bay Area I've been meaning to do while I still live here. 

The middle stage seemed to be the easiest emotionally for me. In the beginning, it was stressful and horrible, the breaking of my normal routine, going through finals, transitioning out of college without him, but the middle provided a new routine, some stability, and because you know he isn't coming back soon, you're also not anxious about it. The worst of the separation anxiety has diffused, and is replaced with a resigned missing. I miss him constantly, he is always on my mind, but I am also accepting of the fact that I can't make him come home faster, and all I can do is wait and live my life.

With the last stage of deployment looming, this final chunk of time, I feel the edges of anxiety creeping back; I find myself anxious to have everything perfectly set up for his return, anxious about re-adjusting, re-connecting, about seeing him again and wanting that too badly. I tend to avoid thinking about this because it's becoming apparent that this last stage is going to be more difficult for me, as well as more exciting. But the excitement its self is painful...so for now I will try and tell myself I still have to wait, tell myself I still have time to slowly pull things together for his arrival, so I don't panic or let the painful excitement take over. 

September also means school resumes, so my brother and I hit San Francisco for some back to school shopping the other day. We got him clothes, and I got to spend time in my city. Win-win.

Union Square

Typical foggy day